HEY!!!
so the last few weeks have gone by in a blur. I finished my internship yesterday and tonight i am camping in the parking lot of a holiday inn outside of the Grand Canyon. all the doors of the hotel are locked, but I pretended i forgot my key card and some old guy let me into the hotel... so i am now taking advantage of their toilets, heat, wifi, and outlets.
Tyler is currently boarding his plane to Australia (as far as i know). I am really excited for him to have a big adventure. I think it will be really good for him. I am really proud of him... He has changed a lot since we met, he has really become independent and excited about life.... it was really hard to say goodbye, but now i am looking forward to staying in touch.
Anyways... i will ACTUALLY update at some point later this week while i am staying at my Auntie Anne's house in Phoenix.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
the last 5 weeks...
Wow, where did the last month go. I totally did not realize that I hadn't updated for so long. I guess I have kind of been busy, or at least busy enough to not spend lot of time on the internet. So last time I updated was right after horse valley which was the week of August 16th. I have a lot of catching up to do, so this is going to be kind of lame and outline-ish. Sorry.
Week of August 23rd:
Monday we had a giant breakfast that made the rest of the day kind of uncomfortable. We were working in Fishlake NF along I-70 in Pinyon Pine and Juniper, so the plots weren't toooooo bad. We stayed at an official campground that night and it had REAL TOILETS! It was very exciting. We worked in the same area on Tuesday, but on Wednesday we moved north to near Scipio, there was a big fire in the mountains there last year called Saw Mill. On Wednesday I worked with Laura (thank god!). The access to the top of the mountain was very limited, so we had to hike up to where the fire was. We gained a lot of elevation over a short amount of time. The plots went fine, they were a little steeper then we like, but oh well. The bad part was that we ran out of water, and became pretty dehydrated by the end of the day. Three liters of water later I was back to normal... except I had gone pee more than I usually do in two days. HA. On Thursday I worked with Andrew, which I kind of enjoy because by the end of the week we are both kind of mentally unmotivated and are pretty wacky. We had Friday off, but on Saturday Chris, Andrew and I drove down to Escalante and meet up with a BML ranger for an overnight Leave No Trace trainer course. LNT is a code of ethics with the goal of preserving the outdoors by teaching people how to leave as little impact as possible when enjoying the outdoors. I guess. This course taught us how to teach it to others. So now I am all certified and what not. I was really not looking forward to it, but all in all it was pretty fun. We slept outside in a giant alcove of the Escalante River where there was old cave drawings and swallows swooping around. Plus on Sunday we stopped at our favorite Escalante restaurant and had delicious pizza. Yuuuum!
Week of August 30th:
this week was really crazy. It was only three days long, followed by a five day weekend. On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we worked in good ol' Henrie Knolls, which is just up the street from us (so only like.... 10 miles? HA!). But the thing is, it is a prescribed burn that they have been doing different sections of for years. And whoever the hell choose plots for us, must have died have way through and then some unqualified person took over OR SOMETHING. Because it is soooooo disorganized with plots less than 100 feet from each other or having multiple names assigned to them. So basically we spent all week organizing the data and visiting plots we had already done to confirm that they YES INDEED were the same plots with two numbers, or didn't exist at all, or overlapped another plot, or were in the middle of a road, etc. it was kind of fun though. I like office work that involves completely reorganizing giant data bases.
For my five day weekend (which was labor day weekend, so we got the Monday off, and because of the LNT training we got the Thursday off too) I went to my Auntie Carol's wedding!!!!!! On Thursday I drove up to Provo to my Aunt Suzie's and then on Friday, we drove the 11 hours up to Spokane. On the way I listened to the book The Hunger Games. It was really good and I highly recommend it. When we got to Spokane we visited my Grandma, which I was nervous about. It is kind of complicated why. I hadn't seen my grandma for a couple years, but my memories of seeing her were very nice and happy. Since then she has gotten a couple years older (duh), and doesn't really know what is going on most of the time. She is happy and in no pain, and has had a very complete and wonderful life. I guess I feel that when she dies I'll be sad, but it won't be tragic or anything, its kind of like she is 96 and when she dies I don't think even she will be sad or scared about it. I don't get the impression that she is fighting to stay alive, she just is doing pretty okay and will die when it is her time. But something about not seeing her for so long, and then seeing her again made me nervous in a weird way. She didn't know who I was, but I think she knew I was someone who cared about her. She didn't really talk much, but is was interesting to see that a few of her mannerisms had stuck with her. I just mean some of the facial expressions she did made me overwhelmingly realize that she is indeed my grandma. When my aunt and I were leaving I looked back at my grandma and waved at her. In response her fingers peeked out from over her blanket and wiggled in my direction. It was a really great moment and when I felt like she was the most connected to who I was. The next day we drove up to Priest Lake in Idaho for my Aunt Carol's wedding. She reconnected with Fran at their 50th High School reunion last summer, and, well, they got married! I really like Fran and I am really excited to have him be a part of my family. It was a small ceremony on the beach in front of Carol's cabin, but seeing them both so happy made me get a little teary-eyed I have to admit. I year ago today I never would have thought that carol would be married (let alone to such a great guy), It just makes me so happy. Life can take such unexpected yet wonderful turns. After the ceremony there was a big BBQ and chatting with family members I hadn't seen in 10+ years. My dad came over from Seattle, and it was nice to see him. It is sometimes still weird for me to realize that he is a part of the Giboney family. Up until I was 12 years old, I don't have any memories of my dad being at Giboney family events. But after everything that happened, he was part of them again. I guess for people who are older, it was probably less weird. But for a part of me it is kind of like my parents are still separated so it is weird to have cross-over. I don't remember my parents being in love or living with each other, and even though everything changed in the end, I still have those 10 years of memories of them being two separate parts of my life. BUT I am so happy that he was there and by saying all that stuff I don't mean that I don't want him at those events. I am just analyzing my feelings. Blah. On Monday I flew back to Provo and then drove back to Duck Creek.
Week of September 7th:
another uneventful relaxed three day week. We worked around Dave's Hallow and Escalante. We had a free dinner at one of the fancy touristy restaurants because Chris had volunteered on their farm for a week (although it wasn't as good at Cafe Diablo). On Thursday after work I drove the 7 hours to Fontana to stay with Tyler for the weekend. On Friday the whole family went to the LA county fair. I haven't gone to a fair for a long time, and I had a lot of fun! We went to the horse races, got funnel cake (yum!), pet goats and cows, walked though all the vendors (which had shockingly similarities to a Egyptian market), but mostly I enjoyed being in the same physical location as my boyfriend. On Saturday we slept in which was awesome and much needed after the last few weekends. We went to Borders so I could buy Tarra a copy of The Hunger Games to mail her ( it is so good read it). I have this habit of wanting to o nice things for Tarra all he time. I kind of selfishly love the feeling of making her happy. On Sunday the whole family drove out to the desert to Tyler's Grandparents house. There is some BLM land down the road where we went and shot guns at old cans and clay pigeons. It was some good ol' traditional Coulter family fun. Then I drove home to Duck Creek (sad beans).
Week of September 13th:
This week was totally spastic and had about 100 changes of plan. Monday and Tuesday were spent near cedar working on the Mill Flat fire. There was a lot of hiking. I requested to work with Laura on Monday and Tuesday to make it slightly less awful. Then on Wednesday and Thursday we completely changed plans and drove over to Dave's Hallow to work on the bridge fire. This was also the first 4 day week in a while, so it just felt super long. That weekend was my last weekend in Utah that I didn't already have plans for so I finally got around to driving over to Moab and go to Arches NP. However, I wasn't in a huge rush. So I slept in on Friday, and then about 10 seconds after I decided to get up I heard a group of men come walking into the bunkhouse. I hurriedly got dressed and went out to see what was going on. Turns out there were there to check the bunkhouse to see if any repairs need to be made. I was very glad that Andrew wasn't around and that his door was shut because technically we aren't supposed to be living on the same side. So I kind of pretended that he lived on the other side, although I never really straight-up lied. I kind of just let them keep thinking he lived over there. After they finally left I drove down to Cedar, sent Tarra the books I had bought her and then drove to Moab. Along the drive there on I-70 I passed through mountains that had a wildland fire burning. It was kind of cool except that the smoke was settling into the valley and made the road pretty gross to drive through. I got to Arches just as the sun was going down, so I drove around the park for a bit (just to feel a sense of satisfaction of actually being there) and then went into town to find a place to discretely sleep in the back of my truck. The next morning I ate breakfast a local bakery called Love Muffin, then went to the local grocery store and bought a baguette, hummus, and a jar of lemonade for lunch. I spent the whole day in Arches seeing practically everything there is to see. I was pretty tired by the end of the day, but I felt very accomplished. The most famous arch from the park is Delicate Arch, which is on the Utah license plate. It was indeed very magnificent. I kind of wish I wasn't so tired by the time I got there. It is apparently best viewed at sunset (because of the amazing lighting), so I saved it until last. Afterward, I decided to drive all the way back home instead of camping in Moab again. I got back to the bunk house at about 1:30AM. It was still worth it though. On Sunday I ran errands in cedar, did laundry, talked to Tarra for 2.5 hours, and watch movies. It was a great day.
Week of September 20th:
I had kind of been dreading this week because I knew it was going to be a hard one. We were working on Mill Flat again, which is a mountain that is a wilderness area (which means there aren't any roads). The previous week we had worked at the base of the mountain, so there was a lot of hiking, but we still went home at the end of the day. This week we worked on top of the mountain so we had to backpack up the mountain 5 miles. I was so dreading it, but it was actually OKAY. I walked with Laura, and although I was carrying a really heavy pack, and it was all up hill, it was doable. I was ridiculous and fell into a tiny stream at one point and managed to get my boots and my butt wet. Basically I looked like I had peed myself, it was pure talent. By the time we got to the meadow at the top of the mountain it was around 3 so I was able to dry my pants and boots in the sun. and we didn't even do any plots that day. Chris, Andrew, and I are also sharing food for dinner to lighten the load and use up the SCA budget. It is nice eating good food while camping and after working all day. I shared a tent with Laura this week (again to lighten the load), and it was pretty fun. I like her a lot. She is fun to work with. (I can write like a 1st grader!) Anyhoo, the whole week was pretty much the same. Work all day, eat good food, read my book for a little bit, go to sleep at 9PM. On Thursday we left a lot of gear (tents, sleeping bags, work stuff, etc) up the mountain so we don't have to bring it up again on Monday, so our packs were a lot lighter on the hike down. This weekend was pretty busy. On Friday I slept in (thank god!), then drove down to cedar, realized I left my wallet at the bunkhouse, drove back up the mountain, ran inside, grabbed my wallet and then drove back down to cedar. It was pretty ridiculous. Then I bought some shoes for Tyler's sister's wedding next weekend (woot!), and then spent the rest of the day going to every mattress and furniture store in Cedar to see if they sold foam. Turns out since the invention of the blow-up mattress, people don't buy fold up foam sleep-over mattresses anymore. Oh well, I guess the smelly old disintegrating one I have right now will just have to do! Yesterday I moved out of the bunkhouse in Duck Creek and into the bunkhouse in Panguitch. It is starting to get so cold up at DC that they are going to turn the water off this week. So for the next three weeks I will be in Panguitch. Although I will be camping during the week and visiting Tyler for the next two weekends, so I will only be sleeping here for a few nights. I am not even going to unpack anything.
Today has been a pretty good day... I have laid in bed all day drinking tea, eating captain crunch, reading my book, and writing this thing. I also talked to Tarra for 1.5 hours. We are kind of ridiculous. OH. I forgot to mention that I bought a plane ticket to GERMANY yesterday. Anna gave me to go ahead for the dates, so I will be in GERMANY (yes all caps is necessary) from November 22 to December 20th. YAY!
Now I am at the Subway (I live in a place with a subway! Hurray!) using their Wi-Fi to post this... So I guess that is it... sorry but I have to admit that this is a very unentertaining blog. Here are some pictures to make it better:
Week of August 23rd:
Monday we had a giant breakfast that made the rest of the day kind of uncomfortable. We were working in Fishlake NF along I-70 in Pinyon Pine and Juniper, so the plots weren't toooooo bad. We stayed at an official campground that night and it had REAL TOILETS! It was very exciting. We worked in the same area on Tuesday, but on Wednesday we moved north to near Scipio, there was a big fire in the mountains there last year called Saw Mill. On Wednesday I worked with Laura (thank god!). The access to the top of the mountain was very limited, so we had to hike up to where the fire was. We gained a lot of elevation over a short amount of time. The plots went fine, they were a little steeper then we like, but oh well. The bad part was that we ran out of water, and became pretty dehydrated by the end of the day. Three liters of water later I was back to normal... except I had gone pee more than I usually do in two days. HA. On Thursday I worked with Andrew, which I kind of enjoy because by the end of the week we are both kind of mentally unmotivated and are pretty wacky. We had Friday off, but on Saturday Chris, Andrew and I drove down to Escalante and meet up with a BML ranger for an overnight Leave No Trace trainer course. LNT is a code of ethics with the goal of preserving the outdoors by teaching people how to leave as little impact as possible when enjoying the outdoors. I guess. This course taught us how to teach it to others. So now I am all certified and what not. I was really not looking forward to it, but all in all it was pretty fun. We slept outside in a giant alcove of the Escalante River where there was old cave drawings and swallows swooping around. Plus on Sunday we stopped at our favorite Escalante restaurant and had delicious pizza. Yuuuum!
Week of August 30th:
this week was really crazy. It was only three days long, followed by a five day weekend. On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we worked in good ol' Henrie Knolls, which is just up the street from us (so only like.... 10 miles? HA!). But the thing is, it is a prescribed burn that they have been doing different sections of for years. And whoever the hell choose plots for us, must have died have way through and then some unqualified person took over OR SOMETHING. Because it is soooooo disorganized with plots less than 100 feet from each other or having multiple names assigned to them. So basically we spent all week organizing the data and visiting plots we had already done to confirm that they YES INDEED were the same plots with two numbers, or didn't exist at all, or overlapped another plot, or were in the middle of a road, etc. it was kind of fun though. I like office work that involves completely reorganizing giant data bases.
For my five day weekend (which was labor day weekend, so we got the Monday off, and because of the LNT training we got the Thursday off too) I went to my Auntie Carol's wedding!!!!!! On Thursday I drove up to Provo to my Aunt Suzie's and then on Friday, we drove the 11 hours up to Spokane. On the way I listened to the book The Hunger Games. It was really good and I highly recommend it. When we got to Spokane we visited my Grandma, which I was nervous about. It is kind of complicated why. I hadn't seen my grandma for a couple years, but my memories of seeing her were very nice and happy. Since then she has gotten a couple years older (duh), and doesn't really know what is going on most of the time. She is happy and in no pain, and has had a very complete and wonderful life. I guess I feel that when she dies I'll be sad, but it won't be tragic or anything, its kind of like she is 96 and when she dies I don't think even she will be sad or scared about it. I don't get the impression that she is fighting to stay alive, she just is doing pretty okay and will die when it is her time. But something about not seeing her for so long, and then seeing her again made me nervous in a weird way. She didn't know who I was, but I think she knew I was someone who cared about her. She didn't really talk much, but is was interesting to see that a few of her mannerisms had stuck with her. I just mean some of the facial expressions she did made me overwhelmingly realize that she is indeed my grandma. When my aunt and I were leaving I looked back at my grandma and waved at her. In response her fingers peeked out from over her blanket and wiggled in my direction. It was a really great moment and when I felt like she was the most connected to who I was. The next day we drove up to Priest Lake in Idaho for my Aunt Carol's wedding. She reconnected with Fran at their 50th High School reunion last summer, and, well, they got married! I really like Fran and I am really excited to have him be a part of my family. It was a small ceremony on the beach in front of Carol's cabin, but seeing them both so happy made me get a little teary-eyed I have to admit. I year ago today I never would have thought that carol would be married (let alone to such a great guy), It just makes me so happy. Life can take such unexpected yet wonderful turns. After the ceremony there was a big BBQ and chatting with family members I hadn't seen in 10+ years. My dad came over from Seattle, and it was nice to see him. It is sometimes still weird for me to realize that he is a part of the Giboney family. Up until I was 12 years old, I don't have any memories of my dad being at Giboney family events. But after everything that happened, he was part of them again. I guess for people who are older, it was probably less weird. But for a part of me it is kind of like my parents are still separated so it is weird to have cross-over. I don't remember my parents being in love or living with each other, and even though everything changed in the end, I still have those 10 years of memories of them being two separate parts of my life. BUT I am so happy that he was there and by saying all that stuff I don't mean that I don't want him at those events. I am just analyzing my feelings. Blah. On Monday I flew back to Provo and then drove back to Duck Creek.
Week of September 7th:
another uneventful relaxed three day week. We worked around Dave's Hallow and Escalante. We had a free dinner at one of the fancy touristy restaurants because Chris had volunteered on their farm for a week (although it wasn't as good at Cafe Diablo). On Thursday after work I drove the 7 hours to Fontana to stay with Tyler for the weekend. On Friday the whole family went to the LA county fair. I haven't gone to a fair for a long time, and I had a lot of fun! We went to the horse races, got funnel cake (yum!), pet goats and cows, walked though all the vendors (which had shockingly similarities to a Egyptian market), but mostly I enjoyed being in the same physical location as my boyfriend. On Saturday we slept in which was awesome and much needed after the last few weekends. We went to Borders so I could buy Tarra a copy of The Hunger Games to mail her ( it is so good read it). I have this habit of wanting to o nice things for Tarra all he time. I kind of selfishly love the feeling of making her happy. On Sunday the whole family drove out to the desert to Tyler's Grandparents house. There is some BLM land down the road where we went and shot guns at old cans and clay pigeons. It was some good ol' traditional Coulter family fun. Then I drove home to Duck Creek (sad beans).
Week of September 13th:
This week was totally spastic and had about 100 changes of plan. Monday and Tuesday were spent near cedar working on the Mill Flat fire. There was a lot of hiking. I requested to work with Laura on Monday and Tuesday to make it slightly less awful. Then on Wednesday and Thursday we completely changed plans and drove over to Dave's Hallow to work on the bridge fire. This was also the first 4 day week in a while, so it just felt super long. That weekend was my last weekend in Utah that I didn't already have plans for so I finally got around to driving over to Moab and go to Arches NP. However, I wasn't in a huge rush. So I slept in on Friday, and then about 10 seconds after I decided to get up I heard a group of men come walking into the bunkhouse. I hurriedly got dressed and went out to see what was going on. Turns out there were there to check the bunkhouse to see if any repairs need to be made. I was very glad that Andrew wasn't around and that his door was shut because technically we aren't supposed to be living on the same side. So I kind of pretended that he lived on the other side, although I never really straight-up lied. I kind of just let them keep thinking he lived over there. After they finally left I drove down to Cedar, sent Tarra the books I had bought her and then drove to Moab. Along the drive there on I-70 I passed through mountains that had a wildland fire burning. It was kind of cool except that the smoke was settling into the valley and made the road pretty gross to drive through. I got to Arches just as the sun was going down, so I drove around the park for a bit (just to feel a sense of satisfaction of actually being there) and then went into town to find a place to discretely sleep in the back of my truck. The next morning I ate breakfast a local bakery called Love Muffin, then went to the local grocery store and bought a baguette, hummus, and a jar of lemonade for lunch. I spent the whole day in Arches seeing practically everything there is to see. I was pretty tired by the end of the day, but I felt very accomplished. The most famous arch from the park is Delicate Arch, which is on the Utah license plate. It was indeed very magnificent. I kind of wish I wasn't so tired by the time I got there. It is apparently best viewed at sunset (because of the amazing lighting), so I saved it until last. Afterward, I decided to drive all the way back home instead of camping in Moab again. I got back to the bunk house at about 1:30AM. It was still worth it though. On Sunday I ran errands in cedar, did laundry, talked to Tarra for 2.5 hours, and watch movies. It was a great day.
Week of September 20th:
I had kind of been dreading this week because I knew it was going to be a hard one. We were working on Mill Flat again, which is a mountain that is a wilderness area (which means there aren't any roads). The previous week we had worked at the base of the mountain, so there was a lot of hiking, but we still went home at the end of the day. This week we worked on top of the mountain so we had to backpack up the mountain 5 miles. I was so dreading it, but it was actually OKAY. I walked with Laura, and although I was carrying a really heavy pack, and it was all up hill, it was doable. I was ridiculous and fell into a tiny stream at one point and managed to get my boots and my butt wet. Basically I looked like I had peed myself, it was pure talent. By the time we got to the meadow at the top of the mountain it was around 3 so I was able to dry my pants and boots in the sun. and we didn't even do any plots that day. Chris, Andrew, and I are also sharing food for dinner to lighten the load and use up the SCA budget. It is nice eating good food while camping and after working all day. I shared a tent with Laura this week (again to lighten the load), and it was pretty fun. I like her a lot. She is fun to work with. (I can write like a 1st grader!) Anyhoo, the whole week was pretty much the same. Work all day, eat good food, read my book for a little bit, go to sleep at 9PM. On Thursday we left a lot of gear (tents, sleeping bags, work stuff, etc) up the mountain so we don't have to bring it up again on Monday, so our packs were a lot lighter on the hike down. This weekend was pretty busy. On Friday I slept in (thank god!), then drove down to cedar, realized I left my wallet at the bunkhouse, drove back up the mountain, ran inside, grabbed my wallet and then drove back down to cedar. It was pretty ridiculous. Then I bought some shoes for Tyler's sister's wedding next weekend (woot!), and then spent the rest of the day going to every mattress and furniture store in Cedar to see if they sold foam. Turns out since the invention of the blow-up mattress, people don't buy fold up foam sleep-over mattresses anymore. Oh well, I guess the smelly old disintegrating one I have right now will just have to do! Yesterday I moved out of the bunkhouse in Duck Creek and into the bunkhouse in Panguitch. It is starting to get so cold up at DC that they are going to turn the water off this week. So for the next three weeks I will be in Panguitch. Although I will be camping during the week and visiting Tyler for the next two weekends, so I will only be sleeping here for a few nights. I am not even going to unpack anything.
Today has been a pretty good day... I have laid in bed all day drinking tea, eating captain crunch, reading my book, and writing this thing. I also talked to Tarra for 1.5 hours. We are kind of ridiculous. OH. I forgot to mention that I bought a plane ticket to GERMANY yesterday. Anna gave me to go ahead for the dates, so I will be in GERMANY (yes all caps is necessary) from November 22 to December 20th. YAY!
Now I am at the Subway (I live in a place with a subway! Hurray!) using their Wi-Fi to post this... So I guess that is it... sorry but I have to admit that this is a very unentertaining blog. Here are some pictures to make it better:
Friday, August 20, 2010
floods and thoughts
This week was pretty good. we were working 30 min away from the bunk house in Horse Valley. it was nice coming home everyday and eating cooked food, produce, and dairy. Chris was on vacation this week, so we welcomed forest service employees from other crews to come out with us. the forest service is very supportive of employees cross training and learning about other job opportunities. So on monday and tuesday i worked with laura and a girl who is a fuels contract monitor, basically she makes sure that people who work on fuels out in the forest fulfill their contracts. it was pretty fun. it made the work a little more casual and relaxed. i also figured out that i am pretty good at teaching ppl how to do this stuff. on wednesday and thursday i worked with andrew and a guy who also works with fuels. He was fun, and had a good attitude. On wednesday it was really stormy out. we were working up on a ridge and their was dry lightning happening around us. a tree about a half a mile away was struck and smoked for a while. eventually the rain came, then the hail. we were up on the ridge at the begining of a drainage, and the water accumulated very quickly and little streams formed all around us. When we finally finished the plot, we and all of our gear was completely soaked. as we walked down the hill the little streams got bigger and bigger until it crossed over the road and gathered into a newly created lake. we had to wait in our truck for about an hour until the worst of the flooding had passed and we were able to drive across the road-stream. the roads were in pretty bad condition, but we slipped and slid our way out. back at the bunkhouse we washed all of the gear, so now it is cleaner than it has been all season.
this weekend i am staying local. I am at The Grind Coffeehouse in Cedar right now using their wifi and drinking a delicious iced chocolate drink. life is pretty good right now. working with andrew with an outsider on weds and thurs has repaired some of the damage that has happened in the past few weeks. i no longer dread being near him.
I have been thinking about what ill do this winter now that i know i did not get onto the SCA Desert Restoration corps. Right now my plan is to drive down to phoenix when my program ends to visit my Auntie Anne and Uncle Richard. Then I will drive over to SoCal to visit another SCAer who i met at training who got onto a DRC crew. Then i will drive up to NorCal to see Tarra, other mills friends, and go see mills crew row at the Head of the American Regatta. Then when Tarra kicks me out I will come back up to seattle. If i dont get a call from SCA telling me that they need me (i am on the waiting list for the DRC if someone quits or gets fired), then i will go visit Anna in Germany for however long she wants me.
Honestly, that sounds like a pretty good plan and i really wont mind if i dont work again til next summer.
As for that I think getting a job with the USFS in WA sounds like a great idea. I would like to be closer to home, but not actually living at home... if that makes sense.
thats all for now. bye.
this weekend i am staying local. I am at The Grind Coffeehouse in Cedar right now using their wifi and drinking a delicious iced chocolate drink. life is pretty good right now. working with andrew with an outsider on weds and thurs has repaired some of the damage that has happened in the past few weeks. i no longer dread being near him.
I have been thinking about what ill do this winter now that i know i did not get onto the SCA Desert Restoration corps. Right now my plan is to drive down to phoenix when my program ends to visit my Auntie Anne and Uncle Richard. Then I will drive over to SoCal to visit another SCAer who i met at training who got onto a DRC crew. Then i will drive up to NorCal to see Tarra, other mills friends, and go see mills crew row at the Head of the American Regatta. Then when Tarra kicks me out I will come back up to seattle. If i dont get a call from SCA telling me that they need me (i am on the waiting list for the DRC if someone quits or gets fired), then i will go visit Anna in Germany for however long she wants me.
Honestly, that sounds like a pretty good plan and i really wont mind if i dont work again til next summer.
As for that I think getting a job with the USFS in WA sounds like a great idea. I would like to be closer to home, but not actually living at home... if that makes sense.
thats all for now. bye.
Friday, August 13, 2010
woot!
hey!
I am just checking my email and stuff in the parking lot outside the internet cafe in DCV before heading to vegas tonight to meet up with tyler. yay! last weekend i carpooled with chris to fontana and got to hang out with tyler and his family. we went to disneyland which was AWESOME! and had lots of fun in general. SO it is pretty cool that i get to see him two weekends in a row. life has been better since the whole orderville canyon incident. Andrew still annoys me a lot, but i am having a good time with work. We camped out again this week, but there werent ants everywhere like the last two weeks. Life is OKAY again. I got a GIANT zucchini from my boss's daughter's garden, so i have been eating it a lot. yum! ummmmmmm.... i guess that is about it. OH. I applied for another SCA internship, but it had already been filled.... i am thinking about looking for a job with the seattle parks department, or maybe olympia? somewhere near home at least....
ANYWAYS, this is kind of a pointless blog, but i guess no one is forcing you to read it.
I am just checking my email and stuff in the parking lot outside the internet cafe in DCV before heading to vegas tonight to meet up with tyler. yay! last weekend i carpooled with chris to fontana and got to hang out with tyler and his family. we went to disneyland which was AWESOME! and had lots of fun in general. SO it is pretty cool that i get to see him two weekends in a row. life has been better since the whole orderville canyon incident. Andrew still annoys me a lot, but i am having a good time with work. We camped out again this week, but there werent ants everywhere like the last two weeks. Life is OKAY again. I got a GIANT zucchini from my boss's daughter's garden, so i have been eating it a lot. yum! ummmmmmm.... i guess that is about it. OH. I applied for another SCA internship, but it had already been filled.... i am thinking about looking for a job with the seattle parks department, or maybe olympia? somewhere near home at least....
ANYWAYS, this is kind of a pointless blog, but i guess no one is forcing you to read it.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Frustration and home sickness
Last week we worked in the Fishlake NF, which is the NF north of Dixie. Although we work mostly for Dixie, we will spend about 4-5 weeks there. Andrew was still out on the fire crew, so it was just Chris, Laura and I. I have to admit that for the entire program I have felt slightly behind. You know that feeling when you were sick and missed one day of school and then suddenly everything seems different, or you transfer to a different class and you missed the first day and then you feel like you are the outsider for a while? or maybe that is just me.... well, thats what i have always felt. Andrew got to Utah a full 3 weeks before me, so he knew how to do plot quicker, he and chris were already all buddy buddy, and he already knew all the parks, roads, landmarks, and basically how to make me feel bad.
I haven't felt like me lately. When I am alone, I mean really by myself. I feel right. I know me, I love me, I can be me around me. When I am with Chris and Laura i feel like I am more like myself, but when Andrew is there, the dynamic changes in some way.... I dont feel like me. I feel like i am in middle school. I feel like an outcast who has suddenly abandoned the outher outcasts to try to become a cool kid. I feel like I am trying to prove something, when really I have nothing to prove. I am happy with who i am. I dont need to pretend to be someone i am not. I am from a city, so maybe i am a city girl. I like having comforts. I like having a fridge and a stove and a bed, is that really that crazy. But I feel like I am not outdoorsy enough for andrew, i feel like a whimp. like because i dont like eating the same stupid thing everyday, i am weird or something, because i like sleeping in a bed or at least my truck or at least a tent i am lame cuz i dont want to be super hardcore and sleep outside under the stars and get ants in my mouth. I have been feeling like this for a while, but everything kind of exploded yesterday.
At 7am Andrew and I got a call from Chris telling us that he was able to get the backcountry permits required to do a canyon in Zion. So we packed up all our gear, including stuff to camp that night cuz he was also able to get permits for a canyon for saturday. I had slept well, and i was excited for the day. Pretty quickly my day started going bad. Here i was in this beautiful place, and i should have enjoyed every second of it, but as the day went on i just got more and more emotionally and physically worn out. Whenever Chris, Andrew and I have worked or recreated together, I feel rushed. I am not slow, i am not out of shape, but they are so much faster. I try to keep up, and i can on flat ground, but when we are walking through streams that are full of muddy water, where you cant see how deep, or how uneven it is, I am so much slower. and the dont wait. I dont want to constantly nag and tell them to wait up, but i think it is rude to walk so far ahead. I mean, i would be alone, like completely out of sight from them for 20 minutes or more. I should have been taking it even slower and stopping and looking around and actually enjoying the place. instead i was looking at the ground all day trying not to trip. I felt so rushed. I started getting really angry. I was acting like a crazy person. I ranted to myself, and mocked them. I was so full of hate. At one point when there was a section we had to climb down, they waited for me (as they usually did when they came to technical parts) and chris said that i seemed frustrated. I was like "yeah. I am really frustrated" like duh. i dont think he really got it though. i wasnt frustrated at the hike. i was really effing annoyed with THEM. at that point i kind of got a rush and led the way. i was being reckless and charging down the the muddy river bed. When we came to obstacles I let andrew go first (as usual) but then i would just DO IT. I didnt pause to think up a stratagy, i just did it, and didnt care. Andrew would tell me how he did it, and then i was just like, screaming in my head at him and jumped down like domination. I was so pissed. i think chris got the hint and he hung back with me for a while, which instantly meant that perfect angel superb outdoorsman andrew waited up for us. eventually they went ahead though. of course. as it happened i would mutter under my breath some smart-ass remark that they couldnt hear. I kind of let go of my rage temporarily at the end of the hike. the canyon we were in led into a really popular canyon known as the narrows. there were tons of people around, and i let them get ahead. I took my time, chatted with other ppl, and actually looked around. I knew they had to wait for me at the end anyways. When we were walking along the river i said "maybe i should try to wash the sand out of my shoes... but i guess they are just going to get sandy again in the canyon tomorrow" a little while later chris informed me that i was actually not invited t the canyon the next day. apparently it was to technical and i needed to buy a harness before i could do it. i dont see why we couldnt share..... but really i was already thinking about not doing it anyways. but still... it would have been nice to know before i packed a dinner and my sleeping bag. on the drive home i saw lightning in the distance, and i laughed. you cant do canyons if there is a chance of flash floods... also, they were planning on sleeping under the stars. haha. i cried on the way back to duck creek. when i got back to the bunk house i called home and the second i heard my dad answer the phone i started sobbing again. I think i really scared him. I talked to him and then my sister for a really long time. I ranted and screamed. I said everything to them that i had been saying to myself all day. I let it all out. They gave me some really good advice, and made me feel a lot better. I talked to tyler too, i miss him so much. after hanging out with these jerks i am so grateful to have the men in my life that are not at all like them. and also it makes me really grateful that i went to a women's college. i miss mills so much. I am still so drained. And i really miss having a cell phone. i was supposed to pick it up yesterday but i did the canyon instead, and now i have to wait another whole week. we are working in fishlake again this week and we will be camping out on BLM land. I had a good week with larua and chris (except for all the ants and weird dreams), we will see how it goes with andrew being there. i am still so mad at him.
I have made a decision that i am going to be arrogant and opinionated. I am better than them and i am not going to hide it anymore (pretty good start, eh?). I am going to state my mind, and call them out on things. i am not going to put their feelings above my own. I am going to go out and be a strong proud mills woman. I am going to be a city girl who likes the outdoors, and most importantly i am going to be ME.
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I haven't felt like me lately. When I am alone, I mean really by myself. I feel right. I know me, I love me, I can be me around me. When I am with Chris and Laura i feel like I am more like myself, but when Andrew is there, the dynamic changes in some way.... I dont feel like me. I feel like i am in middle school. I feel like an outcast who has suddenly abandoned the outher outcasts to try to become a cool kid. I feel like I am trying to prove something, when really I have nothing to prove. I am happy with who i am. I dont need to pretend to be someone i am not. I am from a city, so maybe i am a city girl. I like having comforts. I like having a fridge and a stove and a bed, is that really that crazy. But I feel like I am not outdoorsy enough for andrew, i feel like a whimp. like because i dont like eating the same stupid thing everyday, i am weird or something, because i like sleeping in a bed or at least my truck or at least a tent i am lame cuz i dont want to be super hardcore and sleep outside under the stars and get ants in my mouth. I have been feeling like this for a while, but everything kind of exploded yesterday.
At 7am Andrew and I got a call from Chris telling us that he was able to get the backcountry permits required to do a canyon in Zion. So we packed up all our gear, including stuff to camp that night cuz he was also able to get permits for a canyon for saturday. I had slept well, and i was excited for the day. Pretty quickly my day started going bad. Here i was in this beautiful place, and i should have enjoyed every second of it, but as the day went on i just got more and more emotionally and physically worn out. Whenever Chris, Andrew and I have worked or recreated together, I feel rushed. I am not slow, i am not out of shape, but they are so much faster. I try to keep up, and i can on flat ground, but when we are walking through streams that are full of muddy water, where you cant see how deep, or how uneven it is, I am so much slower. and the dont wait. I dont want to constantly nag and tell them to wait up, but i think it is rude to walk so far ahead. I mean, i would be alone, like completely out of sight from them for 20 minutes or more. I should have been taking it even slower and stopping and looking around and actually enjoying the place. instead i was looking at the ground all day trying not to trip. I felt so rushed. I started getting really angry. I was acting like a crazy person. I ranted to myself, and mocked them. I was so full of hate. At one point when there was a section we had to climb down, they waited for me (as they usually did when they came to technical parts) and chris said that i seemed frustrated. I was like "yeah. I am really frustrated" like duh. i dont think he really got it though. i wasnt frustrated at the hike. i was really effing annoyed with THEM. at that point i kind of got a rush and led the way. i was being reckless and charging down the the muddy river bed. When we came to obstacles I let andrew go first (as usual) but then i would just DO IT. I didnt pause to think up a stratagy, i just did it, and didnt care. Andrew would tell me how he did it, and then i was just like, screaming in my head at him and jumped down like domination. I was so pissed. i think chris got the hint and he hung back with me for a while, which instantly meant that perfect angel superb outdoorsman andrew waited up for us. eventually they went ahead though. of course. as it happened i would mutter under my breath some smart-ass remark that they couldnt hear. I kind of let go of my rage temporarily at the end of the hike. the canyon we were in led into a really popular canyon known as the narrows. there were tons of people around, and i let them get ahead. I took my time, chatted with other ppl, and actually looked around. I knew they had to wait for me at the end anyways. When we were walking along the river i said "maybe i should try to wash the sand out of my shoes... but i guess they are just going to get sandy again in the canyon tomorrow" a little while later chris informed me that i was actually not invited t the canyon the next day. apparently it was to technical and i needed to buy a harness before i could do it. i dont see why we couldnt share..... but really i was already thinking about not doing it anyways. but still... it would have been nice to know before i packed a dinner and my sleeping bag. on the drive home i saw lightning in the distance, and i laughed. you cant do canyons if there is a chance of flash floods... also, they were planning on sleeping under the stars. haha. i cried on the way back to duck creek. when i got back to the bunk house i called home and the second i heard my dad answer the phone i started sobbing again. I think i really scared him. I talked to him and then my sister for a really long time. I ranted and screamed. I said everything to them that i had been saying to myself all day. I let it all out. They gave me some really good advice, and made me feel a lot better. I talked to tyler too, i miss him so much. after hanging out with these jerks i am so grateful to have the men in my life that are not at all like them. and also it makes me really grateful that i went to a women's college. i miss mills so much. I am still so drained. And i really miss having a cell phone. i was supposed to pick it up yesterday but i did the canyon instead, and now i have to wait another whole week. we are working in fishlake again this week and we will be camping out on BLM land. I had a good week with larua and chris (except for all the ants and weird dreams), we will see how it goes with andrew being there. i am still so mad at him.
I have made a decision that i am going to be arrogant and opinionated. I am better than them and i am not going to hide it anymore (pretty good start, eh?). I am going to state my mind, and call them out on things. i am not going to put their feelings above my own. I am going to go out and be a strong proud mills woman. I am going to be a city girl who likes the outdoors, and most importantly i am going to be ME.
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Escalante and Priest Lake
During the week of the 12-16 we worked over in the Escalante district. The woman who is in charge of the SCA corps programs in the western United States (Jill!) visited us for the week which meant we got to do some awesome fun things. On monday after work we hiked to the Upper Calf Creek Falls (remember i did the lower falls with my family?). The water fall wasnt really that impressive, but there was a trail that went up to above the falls where there were a series of pools and potholes (deep holes that have been carved out of solid slick rock by water over a very long time). One of the potholes was huge!!!!!! and had been carved out at an angle so that on the upstream side the water fell down a 15 foot cliff into the pool that then drained out of the other side. Basically it created an awesome swimming hole that had a cliff you could jump off into the water. Chris and Andrew did it a bunch. As you may know i an usually pretty nervous about water. I didnt jump in, but if someone had been there to hold my hand I would have. i hate that i dont have any friends here, just co-workers. But it was still pretty and a fun time. Then we went back to town and went the the Escalante Outfitters for dinner courtesy of the SCA. Chris, Andrew and I shared a delicious veggie pizza. here is picture that Jill took of us in Escalante:
the next day we only worked til 2:30 because andrew who has been on call for a fire crew got the call he had been waiting for and had to get to cedar ASAP. This was convenient for me because I also was leaving that day for Priest Lake! Because Anna Is leaving for Germany so soon and we both wanted to go to priest lake and see each other we killed two birds with one stone and i took two days off of work and took a vacation. I drove up to Provo on Tuesday evening, stated with my Aunt Susie, flew to Spokane, was picked up by Anna who had driven over that morning, saw my Aunt Carol who lives in Spokane now, and then finally got to the lake at 8pm on Wednesday. Anna and I had a lot of fun having quality sister time. The only negative part of the weekend was that unexpectedly the sewer line was being replaced (carol didnt expect them so soon), so we had to go to the neighbors to use the bathroom for two days. We tried to drive up to Granite Falls on Thursday but turned around because it was super stormy and hailing. We did make it up to the Shoe Tree, which is a Giant Cedar tree that has hundred of shoe nailed to it and dangling from its branches and has been around forever. When we got there we were horrified to see that it had been completely torched. It was burnt to a crisp, and it was the only one in the area to be burnt. We could only conclude that someone had lit it on fire, either intentionally or unintentionally. there were a few pairs of shoes that had recently been nailed up, But i dont think it will ever be the same without those old cowboy boots. For the rest of the day we hide indoors and did one of my new Beatles album cover puzzles that my Papa bought me!!! We did Revolver, and boy was their hair difficult!
the next day we only worked til 2:30 because andrew who has been on call for a fire crew got the call he had been waiting for and had to get to cedar ASAP. This was convenient for me because I also was leaving that day for Priest Lake! Because Anna Is leaving for Germany so soon and we both wanted to go to priest lake and see each other we killed two birds with one stone and i took two days off of work and took a vacation. I drove up to Provo on Tuesday evening, stated with my Aunt Susie, flew to Spokane, was picked up by Anna who had driven over that morning, saw my Aunt Carol who lives in Spokane now, and then finally got to the lake at 8pm on Wednesday. Anna and I had a lot of fun having quality sister time. The only negative part of the weekend was that unexpectedly the sewer line was being replaced (carol didnt expect them so soon), so we had to go to the neighbors to use the bathroom for two days. We tried to drive up to Granite Falls on Thursday but turned around because it was super stormy and hailing. We did make it up to the Shoe Tree, which is a Giant Cedar tree that has hundred of shoe nailed to it and dangling from its branches and has been around forever. When we got there we were horrified to see that it had been completely torched. It was burnt to a crisp, and it was the only one in the area to be burnt. We could only conclude that someone had lit it on fire, either intentionally or unintentionally. there were a few pairs of shoes that had recently been nailed up, But i dont think it will ever be the same without those old cowboy boots. For the rest of the day we hide indoors and did one of my new Beatles album cover puzzles that my Papa bought me!!! We did Revolver, and boy was their hair difficult!
On Friday we went up to Granite Falls. We hiked around and picked huckleberries, and we even hiked up to the ancient cedar grove. On Saturday we rowed to the island and swam out to the end of the sand bar. We built a sand castle and sun bathed. It was quite fun! then on the trip back, I rowed and Anna swam. I am so proud of her! It also made me really miss rowing. sad beans. The weekend was full of delicious food, fun outings and junky TV. and lots and lots of love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On Sunday morning we rushed to pack up, eat breakfast, and drive back to Spokane for my flight. Everything went well except Anna couldnt find her glasses, and while waiting in line for security I realized I had left my cell phone at the cabin. UGGGGHHHHHH. I managed to get home safe and sound with out it though. My auntie susie was kind enough to pick me up from the airport, and then after a quick dinner with many of her children and grandchildren, I drove back to the bunkhouse. by 1am i was showered, packed for the next week, and in bed.
A perfect weekend.
Two weekends ago (the 16, 17, 18) I had a really great weekend. On Thursday evening we hosted to 50th anniversary of the Dixie NF and SCA working together BBQ at a local park in Cedar. It was a lot of fun and I met a lot of higher up SCA and Dixie people (aka good connections). It was a lot of fun and the food was delicious! The next morning my team and several others did volunteer trail maintenance on a local trail that had a fire burn over it last year. I was confused most of the time, because I wasnt really sure what I was supposed to be doing. And some how i got stuck with a shovel for most of the time which was basically useless for what we were doing. But it was still fun. It made me feel better about using a variety of tools that are used for digging fireline. but i doubt i'll ever do that. Friday afternoon Andrew drove to meet up with his family who was visiting, so chris and I did a local hike through the Ashdown Gorge. I think it has been my favorite outdoorsy thing i have done all summer. It started up near Cedar Breaks and wound down through a canyon and eventually down to the stream that runs alongside the 14. I didnt have my camera on me, but I am hoping to do the hike again when someone comes to visit me. There were some really pretty campsites along the way that I'd like to try out. Afterwards we went back to the bunkhouse and made Quesadillas. It was nice to do something outdoorsy with Chris without Andrew there. I feel like I am more myself when i am just one on one with my co-workers. But more about that later.
The next day I slept in and then caught up with a bunch of friends on the phone. Then I drove down to cedar, interneted until the library closed. Then I went on a date.... with myself. I got thai food (way overpriced) and then went and saw Eclipse (which made me miss Mills a lot), and then snuck into the next theater and saw Inception (the new Leo movie... it was soooo good). I really enjoyed my evening. Sometimes this girl needs to remember who she is. Sometimes i don't need to pretend to be super outdoorsy. sometimes i just need to give in, spend some money, and have a good ol' fashion girl's night out on the town.
The next day I slept in and then caught up with a bunch of friends on the phone. Then I drove down to cedar, interneted until the library closed. Then I went on a date.... with myself. I got thai food (way overpriced) and then went and saw Eclipse (which made me miss Mills a lot), and then snuck into the next theater and saw Inception (the new Leo movie... it was soooo good). I really enjoyed my evening. Sometimes this girl needs to remember who she is. Sometimes i don't need to pretend to be super outdoorsy. sometimes i just need to give in, spend some money, and have a good ol' fashion girl's night out on the town.
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